What's good!
Let's talk about your to-do list.
When we sit down to plan our day or our week, we almost always plan from "the best I've ever felt." Fully rested. Fully focused. Zero interruptions. Everything goes right.
Here's the problem: that version of you doesn't show up often. You had bad sleep. You got distracted. Life kept happening the whole time. It's a rare day you're running at 100 percent, either energy-wise or mentally.
And then we beat ourselves up. We judge ourselves for not working like we were fully rested and fully available, even on the days we were sick, drained, or running on fumes. If that sounds familiar, keep reading.
Plan for your worst day, not your best one
Instead of asking "what can I do on my best day?" try asking a different question: "what can I still get done on my worst day?"
Something I picked up from my wife is a min/max. Whenever you put together your to-do list, whether that's daily, weekly, or on whatever schedule you use, ask yourself two things:
Your min: What could I realistically get done operating at 20 percent?
Your max: What could I realistically get done operating at 80 to 85 percent?
Notice the max isn't 100. Nobody lives there. That's the point.
Your min is what gets done no matter what. Your max is what you aim for when things go well. Anything beyond that is a bonus, not the standard you judge yourself by.
What's the difference between capacity and capability?
Capability is your ability to do something.
Capacity is whether you actually have the resources to get it done: cognitively, time-wise, emotionally, physically, and financially.
Here's an example. Can you clean the house, meal prep for the week, work out, get the kids together, and put in a full day of work? Sure, you could pull it off. You're capable. But is it realistic? Could you do all of that and not feel like somebody beat you with a sock full of soap? Probably not.
That's the gap. Being able to do something and having room to do it are two different things, and most of the guilt we carry lives in that gap.
Make decisions from your capacity
Your capacity is the real place to decide what you're taking on, not your capability. Capability tells you what's possible. Capacity tells you what's sustainable.
And some things aren't up for negotiation. You gotta sleep. You gotta eat. You gotta wash your body. Those are non-negotiable. If your plan only works by skipping those, it's not a plan, it's a setup.
Something to sit with
Grab your notes app or a journal and take a few minutes with one of these:
Think about the last time you beat yourself up for not getting enough done. Were you measuring against your capability or your actual capacity that day?
What's on your list this week that you're capable of but don't have the capacity for?
What's your min and your max for tomorrow?
Which non-negotiable (sleep, food, hygiene) have you been treating like it's optional?
You don't have to answer all four. Pick the one that made you squirm. That's usually the right one.
Currently accepting new clients
If this hit close to home, and you're tired of running your life on a plan built for your best day, I'm currently accepting new clients at WeUp Counseling & Consulting. Book a free 15-minute consultation to see if we're a good fit.
Until we communicate again,
Brandan Vazquez, LPC WeUp Counseling & Consulting
